I have issued myself the 30-Day Paramita Challenge. Each day (minus Saturday) I will concentrate on cultivating one of the six Paramitas in as many aspects of my life as possible.

Quick introduction to the Paramitas (from a handout from Karen Kissel Wegela) and the routine I am establishing:

Sunday: Prajna, which is translated as Wisdom. Prajna, as far as this challenge is concerned is defined as precision—as in seeing the sharp edges of situations.

Monday: Dana, which means Generosity. Welcoming is the first gesture of generosity. This is why I choose to cultivate Dana on Mondays. Giving, opening, and letting go are all concentration points.

Tuesday: Shila, which means Discipline. Essentially, discipline is proper and dignified conduct. This is a Buddhist definition, not a Marine Corps one. Of course, Shila is concerned with compassion.

Wednesday: Kshanti is the Paramita of Patience. Kshanti has to do with being non-aggressive toward ourselves and bearing our existence. Kshanti isn’t about waiting for something.

Thursday: Virya, which means Exertion is the absence of laziness, joy of practice and immediacy. Virya is doing something about it, whatever it is.

Friday: Dhyana, which translates as mediation is concerned with stabilizing the mind.

I will post before going to bed each night of the 30-Day Paramita Challenge stating how I cultivated the Paramita. Sure, this could be taken as vain spiritual materialism, but I know myself well enough to understand that if I don’t commit to this challenge in this way that I will find some reason not to do it. I already have ideas for even better challenges I could do instead of this one, which would mean breaking my commitment to myself and committing to another program only to figure something even better out and commit to it. In the end, there were only ideas and not much else. A lot of ideas are fun, but not as important as developing one good idea.

Today I will cultivate Prajna and post about it before going to bed tonight.

Today was day 2 of the 30-Day Paramita Challenge

The process of Dana (Generosity) is welcoming, opening, and letting go. This is the practice of giving your self to each moment or situation that arises. I don’t have any concern with metaphysics here. I’m speaking to a methodology to get unstuck and put my nose back in the wind of opportunity.

Dana began cultivating itself in my sleep last night. I dreamed my wife and I were immigrants arriving in an 18^th century American port city welcoming the dry land and the opportunity of moving west to make our fortune. We walked with hustle and bustle breathing dust like perfume. Everything was new to our senses, and we wanted to digest everything fully.

First thing this morning, I gave myself a full-fledged Tony Robbins Hour of Power. I was ready to go when I got to my appointment this morning. It was nice to walk in the door and feel some gratitude for being there. I would like to think several people were positively impacted by the energy I emitted.

The takeaway from today’s study of Dana is giving myself the gift of being present by removing obstacles such as tension in my body and repetitive discursive thoughts. Then I can welcome each new experience.

During my Psychotherapist training I thought a lot about what is meant by ‘letting go’. It seems that I would try to let something go by forgetting about it only to have it invade my mind in an inconvenient time. I feel it is important to include what I mean by ‘let go’ because I used it above. For me, letting go means relaxing and returning to my body. To be more precise, I start with my shoulders and relax them. Usually, if I need to let go, they will drop a couple of inches. Then I straighten my spine and breathe deep down into my belly. Next, I relax my jaw muscles and feel my feet on the ground. This all happens in a few seconds. I will do some Tonglen if I still feel wound up.

Letting go in this manner is what I mean by getting rid of obstacles to being present.

Day 3 of the 30-Day Paramita Challenge

Today was Shila, which is translated as discipline. Discipline in this sense means dignified conduct. I've thought more about how this understanding of discipline relates to what I learned about discipline in the Marines. I've decided there is not much difference because both encourage Warriorship. The difference is in context and point of view due to particular value MEMEs. I'm cringing at bringing up value MEMEs because they oversimplify human beings. To learn more about this theory, click here.

Public speaking is where Shila came to life today. I was mindful of my speech and used neither ummm nor ahhhh. I spoke in as concise a way I could and addressed the whole room while speaking.

Speaking is an important part of dignified conduct. How we talk produces projections that only exist in audience members’ heads and they become reality. I have spent a lot of fruitless effort trying to change this part of the world. Ultimately, it has only been me acting out aggression by pushing away how things actually are.

I’m not taking this Paramita into the direction of mystical bliss. Instead, I’m talking about practical public relations. Oh, and I’m not giving anyone permission to be a Boulder Buddhist pushover (BBP) and re-label denial ‘non-duality’. The root of tonight’s message about Shila circles around boundaries and relating to people through our best guess of what their projections are. When we understand who we really are, we know we are not compromising anything about ourselves through this approach. We are still who we are, only being flexible enough so someone else can relate to us.

The dignified conduct of Shila cuts through pointless narcissism. 

Day 4 of the 30-Day Paramita Challenge

I practiced Kshanti (Patience) today. There could not have been a better day to practice bearing my own existence in a non-aggressive manner.

I spent the evening observing an environment where I didn’t agree with much of what I saw yet had to work directly with my own emotions to keep myself from taking control and giving a lot of advice. This was a challenging balance when it came to answering the, “So what do you think?” question. I came across as unimpressed. However, I did not become condescending.

Carl Jung wrote in Answer to Job, "I would even go so far as to say that the mythical character of a life is just what expresses its universal human validity."

Reframing your life into a mythical metaphor is powerful. It is a fun way to get unstuck.

Day 5 of the 30-Day Paramita Challenge

Virya means exertion. Virya is the kind of exertion that would happen if a snake landed in your lap or your hair caught on fire. You would naturally do something about it.

What did I do about it today?

I am going to bed tired, but I could have done more today. I felt some stress and should have hit the treadmill instead of attempting to work it out in my head. Live and learn.

Day 6 of the 30-Day Paramita Challenge

Dhyana means meditation implying stability of the mind.

I rode my bike to work today. I didn’t know it was zero degrees outside when I left. Needless to say, I was in pain well before I arrived. This was a great opportunity to cultivate Dhyana. I contemplated the koan “Sun-faced Buddha; Moon-faced Buddha” (as a coping strategy) remembering a commentary I read were a Zen master instructed his students to develop the ability to relax in any circumstances including cold weather.

There is a reason why it is called practice. The koan gave me something to think about other than the cold. I ended up repeating it in my head as a way to dissociate, which I was very intent on. I’m pretty sure it kept me alive. I don’t care to practice in this manner again. It was over the top hard practice.

I've defined prajna as precision. Prajna today was in making a decision. It was an important one. As with most important decisions, I experienced relief soon after making it. I'm old enough to know the hem hawing was a necessary ingredient.

It's interesting to think about who reads my blog. I would like to think like-minded people aspiring to live their lives at really high standards.

Unfortunately, the one person who time and again contacts me from my blog is a stalker. That's right. A stalker. He was being creepy before I started blogging. And my blog has served as a vehicle for him to keep track of me and randomly contact me with bizarre emails attempting to break up my marriage.

I don't know what to say to this guy. There's already a restraining order. That was my idea by the way, and he hasn't got that message. My family (that's right--MY family) is creeped out and I'm afraid if I tell this guy the truth regarding my thoughts of his character that he will commit suicide. I feel really sorry for this fella. I pity him.

So do I give this guy attention and positively reinforce his behavior and respond telling him to get lost? Or, do I ignore it other than this posting and hope the behavior is eliminated? Or do I bill him my fee for psychotherapy (he isn't a past client)?

He has been told numerous times to leave us alone. He even emailed me all the times he has been told to stop. But he continues thinking I'm his friend and he is doing me some favor by insulting my family.

What do you like-minded (to me...if there are any...) readers think?

I have been busy and neglected the 30-Day Paramita Challenge.

Tomorrow I will pick up with Shila and call it day 10.

It would be easy to forget about the whole thing. I stopped the practice so why pick it back up? I'm picking it back up because I made a commitment. I'm going to finish what I started. I'm not going to act like I never made this goal.