Recognize that each moment, whether challenging or mundane, is an opportunity to sharpen your masculine edge. You can avoid frustration by relaxing and trusting your intuition. Understand that you have developed the level of discernment necessary to skillfully engage with the material of your experience.

I listened to a TED talk given by Bono. He talked about how his experience in Ethiopia moved him to do something.

My experience in Africa moved me to try and forget all about it. I was in Africa for a much different reason than Bono. I didn’t have a choice about going to Africa. I was on active duty in the Marine Corps. I went where my unit was ordered to go. Bono went to an orphanage to help during famine. I was mostly concerned with my own safety and could care less about having an “experience.” However, I had an experience that is very real in the DNA of how I see reality and move my life forward.

I think this has a lot to do with my personal identity as a man and my professional identity as a psychotherapist. I try to pretend events haven’t affected me. I think there are two reasons why I do this: 1. I try to protect an idealized image of how I wish reality to be and consequently create a glitch in how I exercise discernment. 2. A desire to be an emotionally bulletproof psychotherapist.

However, while I was listening to Bono, I had a moment of relief. I started repeating to myself, “I don’t have to pretend that I haven’t been affected by events in my life.” I felt a release of energy while repeating this phrase. I am affected by what I observed and by what I did in Africa. In my effort to maintain the front of “all good” I am really maintaining the pain. I have to wonder if I have maintained this pain because I haven’t known what I could do to really effect positive change in Africa.

There are so many preventable deaths over there…

Some of my emotional energy has been freed up by listening to Bono talk. I am curious to see where this energy is going to be directed.